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Wit and Wisdom

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Then Write An Extra Check

Posted on December 15, 2011 at 5:45 PM
“Hey, Jimmy, would you lift the other end of this trunk so we can get it in the car?”
 
“No.”
 
“Why not?”
 
“Because if you keep asking me to lift pieces of luggage, I‘ll lose interest in this trip. And I’m central to us having a good time. Check the photo albums: I’m the happy-memory-creator.”
 
“Son, this is a family vacation we all agreed on. Now help me with this trunk.”
 
“Dad, don’t you see we can’t go on packing like this? We don’t have a lack-of-lifting problem, we have a too-many-Bermuda-shorts-and-deck-shoes problem.”
 
“You’re right: sometimes we pack too much. But this is a long vacation and we’ve already cut down our luggage by three suitcases. The stuff in this trunk is important.  So help me lift it.”
 
“Look, Dad, if the trunk is so important to you—if you’ll feel guilty if we leave it behind—fell free to lift both sides yourself.  Just leave me out of it.”
 
“I can’t lift both sides. We each have to do our part.  Now lift the trunk!”
 
“Do you realize that half our family lifts no luggage at all?”
 
“Your mother’s in a wheelchair, and your sister’s four years old.”
 
“Still, it means they’re not fully invested in this vacation.  And why do lifting duties always fall to me?”
 
“You’re on the high school weight-lifting team.  It seems like a good fit.”
 
“Aha! You’re punishing my success, undoubtedly through envy.”
 
“Jimmy, I’m your father—we’re your family—we’re all proud of you.  We want you to succeed. But given that you can bench press the rest of us combined, it seems reasonable to ask you to lift heavy objects.”
 
“Sounds like socialism to me.”
 
“Lift the trunk!”
 
“Now it sounds like fascism.”

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